After 3.5 years in temporary accommodation, we are packing again. The destination is Hervey Bay, Queensland, the place where it all began. Our long-term renters are moving out which gives us the chance to do some upgrades to our place. But that’s only part of the story as there is a brand new camper trailer waiting for us as well.
The prospect of journeying though the Red Centre is as exciting as catching up with friends and family. The plan is to drive straight through the heart of things, along Australia’s Longest Shortcut. Sounds like soul searching. Can’t avoid that on a trip like this. Five thousand kilometres via Uluru to Winton and then home along the Capricorn and Bruce Highways. As always: weather and road conditions determine progress and route. Fine tuning is to be expected. The first 1,000 km take us from WA’s west coast to Laverton and then through the Great Victoria and then the Gibson Desert to Uluru.
Packing. The challenge. Everything has to fit into and onto car and trailer. We have been aware of the impermanence of our lodgings over the years. Yet our gear manages to multiply. Continuously.
The first phase in moving is to tidy up and to reduce what is redundant or really of no value any more.
Phase two is the famous 3D puzzle. An exercise somewhere between meditation and madness. Can’t just shove anything wherever. We still need to be able to access what we need for travelling, potentially recovering and fixing without taking everything apart.
Phase three: despite all craftsmanship, there are still bits that won’t fit. And overloading the beast is a recipe for disaster. So everything back out, reevaluating and back in. And leftovers will bob in the wake of us leaving. I suppose our now ex-colleagues will appreciate some of them…
As usual, this is happening while trying to shape our successors feet into the shoes that we leave behind.
Here is the last photo of leaving Port Denison. Picking up last supplies in Geraldton (‘Can’t find them damn fly nets!”). Then a last safety check and Paul, Olli and I are off:
Hasta La Vista, Baby! We leave with a wet eyes and a mad grin.
First stop, an old friend, the salt lake at Tindewah. He is simply stunning. Less than 150 k’s from Port Denison but already worlds away. The shackles are off after a last night of stress and bad dreams. That’s what work does to you.
We set up camp around noon and settle with one of many icy cold ciders. Paul feeds the ants with fat March flies while O and I explore the edge of the lake for one more time. Surprising, how muddy some sections still are. Sinking into the dirt without warning. Ankle deep. It doesn't bother me. I just love this place. Finally, a campfire and a great meal: sausages taste just better in the wild...
When we break camp in the morning, everything is dewy. But it's okay. Goodbye, old friend!
Night I: We only travelled 140 km or 2.5% of our trip and wonder if we have to sell a kidney each to pay for the fuel
We stop for a healthy breakfast at Mullewa and then continue to Yalgoo, Western Australia's "Gateway to the Outback". Not too far away. Nice, not to be in a hurry. Our campsite is at Joker's Tunnel. Nestled in a gathering of small hills. With a wonderful view of Lake Noondie.
In the mid-1890s, a few madmen drove a shaft through the rock. By Hand. Following the scent of gold. Misled by their noses. The tunnel follows the intestines through the hill. A well-intentioned short-cut, but where to? From poverty to riches? The bats are the only ones that ended up happy. And the wind that howls grievingly through the hole. What a picturesquely, yet hair-raising experience!
The surrounding hills are painted in wildflowers. Beautiful trails lead into pinks and purples. Olli takes me to explore niches and caves. He sniffs about while I blissfully absorb the loneliness. Nobody, but us old farts, Max the car and of course Olli dog. While the day says farewell, we cuddle around the camp fire. The clouds are chasing the moon across the sky. Grateful for the dancing flames, the crackling logs, the warmth, the silence and the excitement of another day in freedom.
Eventually, gentle rain sets in. Enough to cover the distant lake with a thin film of wet. Fabulous how it reflects the days early rays. The first toilet run is also great. But not the timing: flies are already awake and mosquitoes are not yet in bed. Even dog refuses to leave his cosy place in the car. But otherwise a great start to the day!
Back at the camp Paul surprises me with a shower. He redirected the water from our tank to a handheld shower head. Clipped to the side of the trailer. It’s only a short spray of water. And at ambient temps. But what a great way to ready yourself for new adventures. Clean and alive.
And it drizzles again. We quickly pack the damp canvas and pull out it the ranges. In search of a dry, less windy place.
Night II, 280km: impressive peace at Joker’s Tunnel
The black top into the rising sun is empty.
Stopping at Mount Magnet for fuel and fresh fruit. I tend to focus on the positive, but today it’s chelengingly cold, wet and miserable . The weather drains the colour out of everything: the truckies with their guts hanging out of pants that have seen better days, Asians at the supermarket who won’t understand a word you’re staying, the rude Kiwi running the servo who finds it hard to swap fuel and food for hard cash and a handful of grumpy black fellas. A town of miserable, frustrated, fat people…
While chewing on stale toasties, we manage to contact Austrack and organise the pick up date for our new camper. Yay! The silver lining just returned! We toyed for quite a while with trading our good old camper trailer in for something more age appropriate and weather-fast. So this is seriously good news. The world is balanced again.
Checking weather and road conditions one last time, and off we are again. Sandstone Road is a pretty decent stretch of bitumen. Mulga country left and right. The occasional low hill. An astonishing number of rest stops. A couple of them would make great overnighter. But neither in rain or wind. So tonight, we are looking forward to treating us to civilisation and hot showers. Sandstone is a neat, tiny town. With only 86 permanent residents it sure surprises. A full time gardener keeps streets and park beautiful. The other townspeople rotate between jobs at caravan park, info center and council. The brick buildings (pub, post office, tourist bureau) - albeit for sale - are in great shape. Pit stop at the really sweet Black Range Café and then we are off to a lap of the town which takes a whopping five minutes.
We stumble over a kids water park. In a region that is desperately shy of the precious wet. And of kids too. With a school that closed years ago, building a waterpark to stimulate the economy seems wonderous. Maybe it is to encourage the locals to get wet more often and to procreate. Fat chance, when the average age of the population is close to the number of people living here. Grand and great grand children visit rarely and so does the handful of aboriginal kids in the shire.
Visitors to the van park are ancient too. You know you are in old-fart-country when you find signs saying “Do not use talcum in the shower cubicle. It clogs up the pipes”, and „Don’t spit in the urinal as it won’t flush down the drain! Yuck!“ A lot of the caravans are as bygone as their owners. Kept together spit and duck tape. Sadly, some are stuck here for good adding to the veneer of the place. The final resting place. I wonder if this would make for a great movie...
The most popular topics in the town are fuel prices (compared to one's pension), the long distances one has to drive (compared to the number of pee stops required to get there), the community nurse (who only visits once a week) and the flying doctor (who drops in once in three weeks). You really want to time heart attacks and other medial emergencies properly. No wonder locals, who can afford it, pack up and leave for good.
Another town on the way out? I can hardly imagine what it means if a shire of 90,000 square kilometres loses its only pub, the last shop, and its medical center. Unfortunately, this it is not an isolated case. A new water park as an economic stimulus? My arse! This, like so many other of WA’s Outback towns surely deserve better…
Night III, 570km: Sandstone. Escaped the wet. What a lovely town.
The nearest town still with a pulse is 150km east. One could argue that places like Leinster are keeping the Outback alive. But do they really? Like Newman, it is a mining camp, mostly accommodating miners. Auxiliary services are sparse. But at least is has a subsidised café, a supermarket, a bottle shop, a fuel station. There is a kindergarten, play grounds, a large scale pool and most likely a gym, besides limited other services. Most of these are run by contractors of the mining organisation. Different to Newman this is 100% fly-in-fly-out. A temporary camp on a mid-size scale. The economic demands of the mining operation drive the township. Top down. No community. No initiative. Just enough care to keep workers sane. Life happens elsewhere. Curiously, even here marginalised dessert people show up to collect welfare and swap it for booze. Hence the sizeable police station. Can’t do without…
We are staying 60 km south at a place known as Jaguar. A weathered highland drop off with beautifully rugged lands below. Astounding, this find, so close to the road. We sneak into a nook, surrounded on three sides by hills. Under one of the few trees. Once the wind drops, we venture out and take in the views. Absolutely breath taking. Yes, there are a thousands of flies. But who cares. The traffic is a distant hum. Or not even that. Just the static noise in my ears.
Glad to be alive - And far enough away from some of the worst ideas modern society ever put to the test.
Night 4, 800km: Jaguar. Big Sky Country! You should all be here…
Jaguar to Laverton via Leonora: It is only a short trip to take in diesel, water and power and then tackle the long 1,300 km stretch of Australia’s Wild Wild West. Leonora is still as sweet and friendly as we remember: vibrant, lively and friendly. I am craving something along that line as we walk past an inviting café. Funnily, we just had pancakes and our first cuppa at Jaguar. So we bypass humanity and the additional calories.
Laverton, the next one on our list, is a real Outback town. Home to bougainvillea, yukka palms and cacti. This early in the day, it is still quiet, accept for some restless folk roaming the streets. The highest concentration, as always, around the bottle shop. Must be opening soon. No one is shitfaced yet.
The police station is once again one of the largest buildings in town. Does not deter people from driving junk. Back windows are rare on most cars. Front windows often smashed. Tyres threadbare and number plates missing. Needless to say that no one wears seatbelts when bush bashing or shopping for smokes and booze. As this is aboriginal land, public rules don’t seem to apply. It is similar to driving on your own property. Rego, insurance and making sure your car is roadworthy are abstract concepts. Besides, who has the money to fix a still drivable vehicle. As long as they get you from A to B or close enough, everything is fine. The local police has bigger fish to fry than that. Drunkenness and domestic violence are big issues and the size of the station shows it. Fittingly, it extends into a massive cage with monkey bars attached, right beside our van park. Don’t feed the animals!
The caravan park is clean but tired. The young couple running the show find the term „customer service“ irritating. None of the usual banter upon check-in. Not even a „how to get out“: the park is enclosed by a three meter steel fence with barbed wire on top. The gates lock electronically. The access code could be an essential piece of information, the difference to our neighbours behind the bars.
Service professionals seem rare. Adequate training even more-so. No wonder self-check-in van parks are popping up. A world without human touch. Makes me shiver…
Most of our inmates are fossicking, armed with metal detectors, picks and shovels. At night their sunburnt faces glow while presenting the spoils of the day: another bag full of bottle tops, squashed beer cans and story's of gold that is still out there, for sure .
Had to stop at The Great Beyond Visitor Centre for a last decent coffee before Uluru and local intel guiding regarding weather and road conditions before entering the Great Victoria Desert. It is run by indigenous folk. They walk the line between tradition and western culture quite sovereignly. The two ladies in the centre are knowledgable, charming and helpful. Loving this space. Even got myself a cheese cake celebrating a bit of me-time. Paul has been tense for the last couple of days. I think, it’s the last job lingering, like a bug, or the flu, still trying to get out of his system.
Night five: Laverton. Staying at the caravan park. Receptionist forgot to tell us how to get out of this compound. The pic below is of the water tower - not our van park
Not sad to leave Laverton. Time to do some serious kilometre guzzling. The first fifty are bitumen, then a hundred or so of teeth rattling corrugation. Luckily without serious dips or potholes.
Etappe six takes us to Tjukayirla, or “Chooky”. After our last visit, about a year ago, we are pleasantly surprise. No more guns and steel bars. The new managers have worked their magic. Like us, they are permanently on the road, specialising in outback pubs and roadhouses, breathing life back into them. The dark, dirty shop is finally clean, bright and inviting. There is a small store where you can source snacks, souvenirs and everything else you need on the go. Their stories from the middle of nowhere are as great as their burgers. Could that be a life for us? Complete isolation? Sporadic tourists and even fewer residents? I could imagine that conversations could quickly become repetitive. In Queensland's Middleton, there is a poster in the pub with commonly asked questions and answers. Just point to them if your voice fails or you don't feel like blowing dust from an old conversation thread. Wouldn’t take long for me and I would probably wrap myself in curious robes and with a tin hat to protect me from cosmic spies.
Chooky, that's the first place we see a tour bus. Post-Covid that’s something special: Perth to Cairns. They have a flat tire. The pub manager is out teaching everyone how to fix it. All tourist cameras are ready.
Another novelty: residents fuel for cash (?) and afterwards approach the travel group for money to buy snacks for their hungry kids.
The topic somewhat continues on the road: We come across a stranded family. Broken car? Run out of gas? A group of men is lounging around in the shade. Nobody seems particularly stressed. Paul urges me to drive on. Too many stories about road siders who seem innocent and then rob you. His unrest is contagious.
Camping in WA’s ALT’s (Aboriginal Land Trusts) is a weird thing. Driving through a reserve requires a permit. You then have a certain time to cross the land. Stops are only allowed if absolutely required. Settlements are strictly off limits. Excluded are the few road houses. Stopping at a fenced compound certainly feels safer. You never know who roams the streets at night. Wild camping is not promoted. If it cannot be avoided, you should stay within 50 metres of the road. If something is about to happen, it’s probably here. On the side of the road. Far away from civilisation. Casual offenders approaching in the dark. So when we camp, we will always be a few hundred metres further away than allowed. And outside direct sight. Curiously, this is only the case in Western Australia. I wonder if other travellers feel uneasy as well? I know, it’s all in your head, Mr Tweedle! And yet...
Entering the Gibson Desert, Camp Paradise: What a cute name. Seems to be a popular place. By whom is not clear. The nearest settlements are hundreds of Kilometers away! True to ourselves, we camp as far offroad as possible. Olli does not want to walk. So off, I go alone. Target is one of the lengendary gnamma holes. They are an important part of any song line crisscrossing the land. Ancient routes leading from one permanent water hole to the next. As not to get lost, important way markers such as gnammas, rocks and even trees are connected via stories or songs. All of them are multilayered. One the surface, they deal with the travels of an ancestor spirit. Wherever they rested, ate, hunted or fought, they left a marker behind. At the same time, they law and cultural glue of the indigenous society describing what one can and cannot do. Some song lines cross the whole continent and with it different nations and languages. They are used to trade, exchange genes and information. Hence it is dramatic when certain way points get destroyed by mines, road projects and railways. I imagine wandering along a song line, finding the gnamma hole. Which I do! There is even water in there! Wow!
Back to camp, the sun is setting. Noticeable how much earlier night falls this much further east.
Night 6, 1,396km: camping at Camp Paradise. Somewhere beyond the beyond’s. Laverton and Tjukayirla are only a distant memory.
Continuing east. Camp Paradise to Gill Pinnacle via Warakurna.
We fuel in Warburton and head for Warakurna for our last diesel stop before the border. Pulling a fully loaded trailer, you can’t afford not to. It's Sunday. Plus tomorrow is a public holiday. Means reduced opening hours. We should reach Warakurna just before close of business. Unfortunately, we moved into a different time zone. And now we pay for it. The fuel is already expensive. Plus the extra fee for a service outside opening hours. For that money, we could have easily stayed here for the shops to reopen. But that would have created havoc with the transit permit. And we don’t like to camp in town anyway.
WikiCamps to the rescue! We discover a breathtaking bush camp. It is at Gill Pinnacle in the Schwerin Mural Cresent. The latter is a semicircular mountain range named by explorer Charles Giles after a lesser German princess. Having a look around, she must have been pretty. We set up camp overlooking a breathtaking valley. Front row for one of the best shows in the world! Spectacular clouds. Gentle outback rain. It smells wonderful. The word "show" does not live up to the atmosphere. "Painting" would be better. Nothing moves. Windless. Few crickets are far, far away! Deafening tranquillity.
Night 7, 1,850km: found an awesome camp at Gill Pinnacle, just west of the WA border. The landscape and its stillness gets me. And the rain too
The drizzle is settling in overnight. More or less intense. Packing is miserable. The pillows are wet. And everything else that touched the clammy canvas. The sleeping bags will need a dryer. Outside, everything is dirty. Red dust turns into a slimy paste that covers everything: hands, clothes, shoes, face. It’s impossible not to drag shit into the car. Max, Paul, Olli, and our trailer are starting to look seriously feral. And this separates boys from men: real guys test their off-road vehicles in any conditions. Cars, trailers and owners are scratched. It’s a badge of honour being filthy, grimy and dirty. Off-road beasts are saddled by raw, hairy guys. The ones with the roaring voices full of authority. Masters of the BBQs. Blokes that makes ladies and metrosexuals quiver with fear. By the way: those white jeans are not salvageable.
Amazingly, such experiences never make it into travel magazines or the tele TV. But what doesn't kill us…
I'm afraid Olli may have found toxic bait last night. I tore something crispy, black, stinky out of his muzzle. He was not impressed. Neither was I. I'm glad he didn't developed any signs of poisoning overnight.
Without internet, I was able to research first aid measures much later. And it's not nice. A dog that guzzled 1080 needs to throw up. Tickle its throat from the inside, preferably without being bitten. Alternatively force a 3% hydrogen peroxide solution down. No one drinks that voluntarily. So here is another part to add to our survival kit. And sutures for those friendly bites...
1080 poison (sodium fluoroacetate) is used to control the number of feral dogs in the outback. Symptoms of poisoning appear already half an hour after ingestion. They are as terrifying as they are deadly! Mostly for lap dogs. A real outback mutt seems to know how to avoid the bait.
Day eight: 2,123 km - Uluru, need we say more?
Maybe we do. This is the first part of us trying to cross Australia’s Longest Short Cut, West to East. The next episode takes us further, all the way through the heart of winter and to the Pacific Coast. Ever wondered about how to deal with personal hygiene on tour and toileting in the bush?
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See you shortly for Part II!
Yours Traveling Old Farts
Track Notes
From Fuel Stop to Fuel Stop
Port Denison $1.81/Lt.
To Geraldton 60km, $1.91/Lt.
To Mount Magnet 340km, $2.08/Lt.
To Leonora 455km, $1.96/Lt.
To Laverton 127km, $2.15/Lt.
To Tjukayirla 300km, $2.75/Lt.
To Warburton 250km, $3.00/Lt.
To Warakurna 231km, $2.60/Lt. Plus $20 call out fee
To Yulara Resort 340km, $2.51/Lt.
From Camp to Camp
WikiCamps App - Together with local intel, WikiCamps is our most valued companion in organising what to see and where to stay, wether it is for free or requires a fee. As you are travelling through pretty remote areas with little to no phone reception, do yourself a favour and download in “Settings” the offline maps for “Australia (West)” which includes WA, NT and SA. While using the app you may toggle to the relevant offline content for places to see and stay even if you are out of range.
Port Denison 0km (Lat -29.2781 / Lng 114.9179)
To Salt Lakes, Tenindewah, 140km (Lat -28.6111 / Lng 115.3640)
To Jokers Tunnel, Yalgoo, 140km (Lat -28.4419 / Lng 116.7501)
To Sandstone Caravan Park, 290km (Lat -27.9902 / Lng 119.2975)
To Jaguar Road Stop, 230km (Lat -28.3669 / Lng 121.1632)
To Laverton, 193km (Lat -28.6252 / Lng 122.4925)
To Paradise Road Stop, 403km (Lat -26.9654 / Lng 125.4127)
To Gill Pinnacle, 455km (Lat -24.9230 / Lng 128.7764)
To Yulara Resort & Campground, 273km (Lat -25.2387 / Lng 130.9901)
Links worth noting
Outback Highway, Australia’s Longest Shortcut (https://www.outbackway.org.au)
Great Central Road (https://www.australiasgoldenoutback.com/business/attractions/great-central-road)
Kaltukatjarra (https://www.macdonnell.nt.gov.au/communities/docker-river)
Warakurna (https://warakurnaroadhouse.com.au)
Great Victoria Desert (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Victoria_Desert)
Warburton Roadhouse (https://warburtonroadhouse.com.au/attractions.php)
Tjukayirla Roadhouse (https://tjukayirlaroadhouse.com.au)
Laverton (https://www.laverton.wa.gov.au)
Leonora (https://www.leonora.wa.gov.au)
Tourism NT (https://northernterritory.com)
Ayers Rock Resort (https://www.ayersrockresort.com.au)
Uluru-Kata Tjuta National Park including Mala Walk (https://parksaustralia.gov.au/uluru/)
Things worth noting
Our overnight stays are chosen because they are dog friendly. In case of commercial caravan parks, be aware, that dogs cannot be left unaccompanied at any time.
When camping off-grid: poison bait is used in most parts of the Outback to control the number of wild dogs. A dog that has ingested the deadly 1070 bait may be salvaged by inducing vomiting immediately. However, it is best to use a muzzle to prevent poisoning in the first instance.
The best time to visit the Red Center is Australia’s winter. Days can be in their low twenties. Expect frost after sun set. If hiking is your thing, prepare for early starts during autumn and spring. Walking trails get closed off at temperatures beyond 30 degrees.
Permits are required for few parks in the Northern Territory, Uluru-Kata Tjuta National Park is one of them. Domestic animals are generally off limits. Some parks allow to have a dog in the car park while exploring the attractions. Do your homework and make sure there is shade and always sufficient water.
National Parks & Permits
Many of Central Australia’s national parks, offer free guided tours. For information about places, days and times google “Territory Parks Alive”.
Transit & Parks Permits
Transit permits are required to traverse aboriginal lands between Kata Tjuta and Leonora. Permits allow you to cross the land along the main roads but not to enter any aboriginal communities. It is not advisable to carry and it is illegal to distribute / share alcohol. Penalties apply.
Central Land Council (www.clc.org.au) - Register online to obtain the free four week transit permit allowing you to cross the region of the Peterman Aboriginal Land Trust between Kata Tjuta and the WA border.
Ngaanyatjarra Council (www.ngcouncil.org.au) - Register online for free to obtain the three day transit permit allowing you to cross the lands between Laverton and the NT border.
Handy Helpers
Staying connected - When travelling outback, Telstra and Optus are by far the most reliable providers. Vodaphone and Co are an option for metropolitan areas only. An aerial booster may be a good idea to extend reception for your service.
Going online - If you are travelling for a longer period or you change your place of residence frequently, make sure to change all important contacts such as bank, credit card institutions, insurances, property agents, car and camper registration to online services, so you do not miss any vital statements and update requests.
AAR Registration - When travelling interstate with pets they have to be microchipped. The Australasian Animal Registry AAR is an easy way to update your pets microchip and residence details. You may do this online via aar.org.au.
Some states and most dog minding services require proof of current vaccinations.
Organising your Trip
Hema Australian Road & 4WD Atlas - Nothing beats the good old paper maps (no power or batteries required)
FuelMap Australia App - Looking for the cheapest fuel in town
GoogleMaps App - Organise your trip. When available, satellite views are superb to find that little private spot for the night off the beaten track.
MainroadsWA App (https://mrw-aue-tvlmp--appsrv-prd.azurewebsites.net/Home/Map) - This is a great little tool that will keep you up to date with any road closures be it for road works or severe weather events. Seriously handy for travelling outback.
Things that get us excited
Added safety with ZOLEO - This handy device that allows you to use your phone to not only send and receive text messages from anywhere in Australia but allows you to send out a distress signal in case of an emergency. It uses the Iridium satellite system to communicate. Easy to use peace of mind. Monthly fees apply (see ZOLEO.com for details).
Better Internet / Phone coverage with X-Wave - If you are reliant on better connectivity, consider employing a signal booster. It gets hardwired into your vehicle. The amplifier normally ends up under the driver seat and a sturdy antenna on your bull bar. Costs apply to purchase and install.
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